From this morning...

I've never known what to make of Jacob and Esau. In the birthright story, you can almost blame Esau for laziness and feel that he "deserves" to lose his birthright. But what about the blessing story? Jacob (well, with his sneaky mama's help) deceived Isaac and still came out on top. Yes, there were hard times ahead for Jacob. Yes, there was restitution between the brothers in the end. But ultimately, Jacob was (more?) loved by Isaac, Rebekah, and - it's tempting to say - by God. Apparently God had a plan that even included injustice, sin, betrayal...

Yet I am wrestling with God on this one. We have been trained to earn. We have been trained to work for things and feel wronged when we don't get what we deserve. (Then again, we feel wronged when we do get what we deserve.) What's our lesson here? All I'm coming up with is another example of that "last best word," grace. There's no understanding this story because it goes against our human nature to accept a life of sin as one having a happy ending or a (mostly) innocent life as being cheated.

I know that, following Jacob, I was saved by grace out of a life that would otherwise bring me exactly what I deserve, namely death. But there are days (more days?) when I feel like Esau and that my "blessing" (though infinitely lesser than salvation) seems to be portioned out to everyone but me. What I know, but don't necessarily feel, is that it's still an act of grace.

May we continue to wonder at the miracle of grace and may we resist the temptation to cheapen our salvation by worrying about what we do or don't deserve.